It may not sound funny on paper, but read these lines and Imagine hurley saying them!!



Jack (to Hurley)

Hey, you, come here. I need you to get this woman away from these fumes. Take her over there and stay with her. If her contractions occur any closer than 3 minutes apart call out to me.

Hurley to jackass

Oh, you've got to be kidding me. (Jack starts running off). Hey, what's your name?


Jack (to Hurley)

You?... (Hurley sort of nods laying on the ground) Stay with her.


Hurley

Dude, I'm not going anywhere
************************************************** *****************************************

Hurley

Was It A Dinosaur?

Jack----No


Hurley You say you didn't see it.

Jack

I didn't.

Hurley

So how do you know it wasn't a dinosaur?

Jack

Because dinosaurs are extinct.

Hurley

Oh. Yeah. [Looking at the Marshal.] So what's his story? He looks kind of. . . dying.
************************************************** *****************************************


But, the bodies are in there, and they're all. . . dead.

************************************************** **************************************


There is no rest of the food, dude. We kind of. . . ate it all.


************************************************** *****************************************

Dogs can find pot and bombs, so I'm sure he can find water.

************************************************** ****************************************

Locke's out in the jungle killing stuff. Who knows where he is.

************************************************** ****************************************


[Jin is speaking in Korean.]

Hurley

Dude, we don't understand Chinese.


************************************************** ****************************************

Wow, man. That was awesome. I mean, that was like a. . . Jedi moment.


************************************************** ****************************************

Sorry, man. No peanut butter. No peanuts. No nothing.
I have no food, alright? And for the record, I'm down a notch in my belt. I'm a big guy, it's going to be a while before you're going to want to give me a piggy back ride, okay?

************************************************** ***************************************

Jack

Hurley, you built a golf course?

Hurley

Rich idiots fly to tropical islands all the time to whack balls around.


************************************************** ****************************************

Dudes, listen. Our lives suck. Everyone's nerves are stretched to the max. I mean, we're lost on an island, running from boars and monsters, freakin' polar bears.


************************************************** ***************************************


Right on, love Canada, great uh. . . well that should do it, thanks for your time dude.


************************************************** ****************************************


Hurley

Something kind of important I've been meaning to ask you about. Um, anything I tell you is doctor-patient confidential, right?


Jack

Yeah.


Hurley

This is, I haven't been feeling so great.


Jack

What's the matter?


Hurley

Well, it's kind of like, uh, my stomach. I've been having some, um, major digestive issues.


Jack

What have you been eating?


Hurley

The usual - bananas, papayas, mangoes, guava, passion fruit, coconut. Some of those weird star friuts from up on the hill. Someone said they might be good for digestion. Let me tell you, they lied.


Jack

Well, it might help if you had a little bit more protein in your diet.


Hurley

Dude, what can I do? There's no boar. No boar, no protein.


Jack

You can eat fish. Jin's been catching a lot of them.


Hurley

No way, man. That guy has it in for me.


Jack [laughing]

Oh, come on, man.


Hurley

I'm not kidding. He offered me something to eat right after we, you know, got here, um, the thing with the spikes?


Jack

Sea urchin.


Hurley

Yeah. When I turned him down it's like I soiled his family honor or something. He hasn't looked me in the eye since. The guy holds a serious grudge.

************************************************** ****************************************

I stepped on a friggin' urchin. Ow, you understand me? [Jin is helping Hurley from the surf.] Do you understand infection, gangrene, amputation? [

************************************************** *************************************
Carmen

Look at you. It's Saturday night. A grown up man sitting at home watching TV. You should go out, try to find yourself a nice woman.

Hurley

Yeah, I'll get right on that.


************************************************** ****************************************

HA! great stuff man! a couple i'll add (i don't know the exact quotes) is when he's yelling at jin to pee on his foot, and when he tells a few of the others in 'numbers' that "im spry." if anyone has the exact quotes for those scenes, throw them down. i forget how the lines went precisely.

i don't know who has the best lines on the show- hurley, charlie, or sawyer, but jorge's delivery of his lines is perfection. just about everything that comes out of his mouth is hysterical. which is a tribute both to the writers and the actor. i reallllllly hope he gets more screentime in season two!

Sawyer has the coolest lines