Top Ten Things You Won't Hear On LOST Island

(previously posted by Mudhoney on IMDb's LOST message board)


10.* "Who wants ice-cream?"

9.* "We're out of dish-washing detergent...again."

8.* Jin: "Mmm...that's tasty Dog."

7.* Hurley: "I couldn't eat another bite."

6.* "Is today trash day?"

5.* "Would You like fries with that?"

4.* Shannon: I've finished chopping the firewood and washing everyone's underwear...who wants to go hunting?!"

3.* "Hey, who's going to pay the Pizza-Guy?"

2.* "Dee Plane!...Dee Plane!" (lol, an ancient "Fantasy Island" reference for your grandparents)

1.* (((You've Got Mail)))

Mudhoney ©2004

Laugh, Cry, Comment, Contribute...Enjoy!* *:laughing:


(Now get back to the wacky theories, show analysis...and "Charlie's sooo hot" threads)

10. Sex with your sister ? Man that's sick !
9. Just can't wait to get away from it all.
8. When will the reality tv how craze be over ?
7. Don't blame me I voted for ___________
6. That Locke, he's such a flirt.
5. This is a great time to work on my novel.
4. I'm a big X-Files fan
3. Just look at how altruistic Sawyer has become.
2. I just love anything Joss Whedon produces
1. Are we there yet ???

<b>Charlie</b>: Theres a drug addtict on the island no way... I'm the drug addicit on the island. No way I am a perfect angle :D

Omg I am going to miss the bus

"Survivors ready.....GO!"

Sawyer: "Hey. Did anybody lose a wallet?"
Kate: "I'm an open book. Go ahead. Ask me anything."
Locke: "Anybody want to hear a funny story?"
Gilligan: "Skipper!"
Hurley: Anything other than, "Dude."
Sayid: "OK. I wasn't really with the Republican Guard. I was a manager at Radio Shack."
Ashton Kutcher jumps out of the bushes: "Dude! You guys are so PUNK'D!"
Jack: "This is absolutely the last time I do my mom a favor."
Ethan: "Tag! You're it!"


"LOOK! A rescue party!"

"Where's the ice?"

Locke: "That thing in the jungle? Actually just a really angry rabbit. I wouldn't have believed it either if I hadn't seen it. I'm glad I did see it though. Such an amazing experience. And a fantastic dinner."

" Oh man! The monster just took a dump on me!" or " Yum! That spaghetti was DELICIOUS!" :lol2: :laugh:

OR "Hey Shannon, can I have your autograph? I LOVED the movie you were in called LICKY LICKY STICKY STICKY."

Rose: "My wedding ring... Charlie stole my precious!!!! Filthy hobbitses!!!!"

"It's time for a tribal council to decide which one of our Survivors is going to be voted off."

Kate telling the truth about her background.

Sawyer: "I love you, Sayid."

"Ah, the great outdoors."

"Why, that was so generous of you, Sawyer!
"Shannon, how selfless you are!"
Boone: "No, thanks, Locke. I think I'll stay here and spend some quality time with my sister."
Rousseau: "I am Gray. I stand between the Darkness and the Light..."
Vincent: "Rooby-Roo!"
Ethan: "I was just laying on the beach, minding my own business, when BANG! This 747 crashes and all these people land on my island!"
Locke: "I've got this great virtual reality war game called Harsh Realm..."
Michael: "Man, I played that one already. Only it was called The Matrix."
Michael: "That's cool, Walt. Do whatever you want."
Locke: "This is who we are."

lol I loved that Punk'd one!* ;D How about..

Sawyer- If you guys need anything, just ask!

Shannon- Hey Locke, want me to clean that boar for you?

Michael(to Walt)- Sure, you can hang out with Mr. Locke anytime you want!

Darn it, that's all I can think of right now...

OPENS TO BEACH AT NIGHT ( a starless sky to not help with island location)

Locke comes on the scene of all the TRIBE gathered around a camp fire with Boone behind him
they are dragging a trolley cart from the plane.

Guys I -- we have a secret to tell you all. For the last couple of weeks Boone and I have been going into jungle and NOT hunting.

(groans and grumbles) Locke smiles holds up hands " Wait a second folks before you lynch us like Charlie got hung . Hear me out. " Pulls a box of ice cream sandwiches from cart and hands Claire a jumbo jar peanut butter. " We came across a hatch well --a door really and when we finally found out how to open it , it turned out to be a large refrigerator. It seems this is a storage island the Disney Cruise Line uses to hold extra food in case they run out. Popsicle anyone ??? They are shaped like the 7 dwarfs. :lol2:

"Hey Charlie, remember the time that guy hanged you?"

"Sun, these plants don't have any fruit.. and they smell funny.. wait, since when do you smoke?"

"There it is! There's the monster!"
"What, behind the rabbit?"
"No.. it is the rabbit!"

Locke: "I figured out how to open the hatch... Boone, hand me the Holy Handgrenade!"
(sorry, I'm a fool for Python)

Locke: "I'll tell you a secret... This isn't an island. It's a space ship. On the moon. Underwater. In the future. In another dimension. No, seriously, it is. Where are you guys going? ...Don't go, I'll start catching boar again! *sigh* I'm so lonely."

Jack: "Sorry Kate. I'm a doctor, not a lover."

Shannon: "Who do I have to screw to get off this island?!"

Jack: "Blood is icky."

Sawyer: "Girls are icky."

Jack: "Kate, I think we should move in toge-wait, is that a @$&^ing hickey?"

*cackles madly*

Those are fantastic, Samurai-Luigi! :lol2:

Omg, all of those are hilarious! :jump1:

Sawyer: Kate, there's something Jack and I have to tell you.
Kate: What is it?
Jack: We're getting married.







Gah...it's the best I got...

Bahahaha, that one is hilarious! :lol2:

Michael: "That's cool, Walt. Do whatever you want."

I think Michael actually said something like that to Walt on the golf course in "Solitary."

"It's cool. Whatever you want."* Something like that.* When he offered to let Walt "take a swing" and Walt declined.

Boone (pointing at Locke's crotch) :* "What's making your pants stick out like that?"

Locke: "Oh, that.... It's for later."

Walt: "Who do I have to screw to get off this island?"

Sayid: I have a son back in Irak
Kate: mmm yeah..what's his name.
Sayid: Atchoum
Kate:Bless you
Sayid:...no you do you don't understand...Atchoum
Kate:bless you
Sayid: Kate Atchoum is his real name...

I'm such a fan of Robin Hood man in Thights.

10 Things you'll never hear on Lost

10. Maybe we shouldn't split up.
9. Locke..."Evil...? Me...?"
8. What's so bad about this place? Most people pay hundreds to get to a p[lace like this...sand, sun, surf, boar, fish, fruit, invisble monsters, gay incestuous wedding planners, mysterious psychotic box makers, cleptomaniac con men, compulsive lying bank robbers, doctors with hero complexes, mute Japanese men, heavy set surfer dudes, angry architects, ex junkie rock stars, preggos carrying ths spawn of satan, maniacal island natives in Old Navy clothes, polar bears, and a vanishing dog...what's not to love?
7. Was that a plane?
6. No, this isn't weird.
5. It feels...I dunno, squishy.
4. Hey, anyone know how to Madison?
3. Brad, Janet, Rocky, Doctor Scott...UHN!
2. I think those look great on you.
1. Yea, me and my dad got along great.

Boone (at the hatch with Locke): "Let's ring the doorbell and run away!"

"That thing in the jungle knocking down all the trees is a giant beaver? Oh, great... Now all the Lost websites will be blocked by CyberNanny.™"

Kate: "Sayid, don't tell Jack about this, but I need help getting my V.D. medicine from Sawyer."

(Kate has the funny syphilis, and she's tired of being everyone's butt-monkey.)
Boone: "No, thanks, Locke. I think I'll stay here and spend some quality time with my sister."

Boone: "No, thanks, Locke. I think I'll stay here and spend some quality time on top of my sister."

"We have 400 knives for only forty people?* Maybe you should have left, oh, 300 of them at home and used the space for a CB radio."

"There it is! There's the monster!"
"What, behind the rabbit?"
"No.. it is the rabbit!"

LOL, I love it! How about this one:

"The polar bear's polar!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, this is a tropical zone."
"The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?"
"Are you suggesting polar bears migrate?"
"Not at all. They could be carried."
"What? A swallow carrying a polar bear?
"It could grip it by the fur!"
"It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a thousand pound polar bear."

"It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a thousand pound polar bear."


"Well, not a European swallow..."

Boone in Charlies grey hoodie sweatshirt, piece of paper on shirt says I am a bloody Rock God he stands over hatch rings doorbell (from other post)

As strange OTHER answers door Boone shouts : TRICK OR TREAT :pumpking: :pain7: