Here's my game. Sorry if it's been done before, but oh well this time it will be different.
Our mission is to write an episode of LOST. It can be as serious or as ridiculous as we want and it can include all the things we're desparate to see, like Charlie with no shirt.

Each person can write three lines or one line and a stage direction (i.e. kate stares at the ocean. hurley enters).

I'm going to start it with a Hurley flashback, because he needs to be more than comic relief, but who's to say there can't be a lot of different people's flashbacks.

Close up on Hurley's eye (what a surprise). Shot pulls out and we see that young Hurley is eight years old and looking at a ginormous birthday cake and he is surrounded by clowns.

Hurley's Mom: Make a wish honey!

*Hugo closes his eyes tightly.* A wish, a wish, what to wish for, I know!
Please, God make all these scary Clowns turn into scantily clad women!*

*Hugo opens his eyes . . . wait for it . . . and screams bloody murder the
clowns are still here! That's the last time I will ever believe in birthday wishes!*

fine I'll continue since no one else seems to want to, and I'm throwing out the rules 'cause it's my game and I can.

[clowns close in on cowering baby hugo, barring their fangs. BACK TO PRESENT]

Hurley: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I promise, I'll never wish for naked women again.
[Opens his eyes to see Charlie strutting around near his bed, waving his shirt over his head]
Dude, what are you doing?

Charlie: I'm practicing my strip routine for Claire. Do you think she'll like it?

Hurley: Man, I don't know, but I don't

Charlie: I've got to practice, got to get my motivation down. visualize. I practiced all day with the peanut butter. If some fat git hadn't eaten all the peanuts...

[Charlie is interrupted by???]

*sawyer enters, looks at hugo in his bed looks at topless charlie.* what in the hell is going on here?

Hurley: Stay longer and we'll let you know.
*Sawyer throws his hands up, backing away*
Sawyer: NO, thank YOU.
*Hurley and Charlie smile at one another, glad that Sawyer has left*
Charlie: So she's thinkin about namin the baby after me...
*Hurleys mouth drops open*
Hurley: Dude...thats heavy!
Charlie: I know, I don't know what to say to her. 'Thank you' or 'Oh my got, why?'

Hurley: Dude did you ever think that she lied?

Charlie:*shocked at statement* Well....I...um...Do you think....She wouldn't...It's me...Maybe.

Hurley: Sorry to dampen your spirits dude.

Charlie: Do you think Rose might like it?

*Hurley shrugs his shoulders with an uncomfortable look on his face*

Hurley: No offense, dude, but all this talk about babies is kinda...girly.
Charlie: Spot on, sorry, I'll stop.
Hurley: Thats alright man, I just don't get into that kinda stuff.
Charlie: Not IN TOUCH with your feminine side, eh, Hurley? *rubs his chest provactively*
Hurley: Dude, cut it out, I'm gonna lose my lunch if you keep doing that!
*Charlie laughs*

*Kate walks in*

Kate:Should I even ask

Charlie:Would you like to join me *Childish smirk on face*

Kate: Grow up Charlie

Charlie: Ahhh a fiesty one...Charlie likes the fiesty cats

*Hurley stars cracking up*

*Claire enters from the jungle, looking at Charlie smirking at Kate*
Claire: Hi Kate...*not looking* Charlie..
Charlie: So, luv, hows about tonite, you and me, the stars and...
Claire: Sorry, Chahlie, but I can't. I have the baby now, I can't go off with you like before.
Charlie: Wot? But..
Hurley: Err, dude, I think your strip tease just got cancelled...
Claire: Strip tease? *brow lifts*
Kate: Okay, you have my attention
*Everyone is looking at a sheepish Charlie*
Charlie: Wot, is that Jack calling me? I'd better-

*Kate moves in front of him*

Kate Oh you're not going anywhere

Charlie:But I...

Hurley: Dude tell them about how you were going to show Claire that tease tonight.

Charlie: Not helping Hugo Hurley

Claire: Chahle, what are they talkin about? *stands in front of him teasingly*
Charlie: This isn't fair, I demand a trial...
Claire: Oh, I'll try you...*kisses him*
Kate: *scoffs* PDA *coughs*
Hurley: Eeww! Stop! My eyes, my eyes!
Claire: C'mon, Chahlie, lets not make a scene...*she teases and grabs the front of his pants and drags him off*
Charlie: Yes'm!

Hurley: So umm You and me wanna g *Interupted by Kate*

Kate: If you even think about saying that I'll punch your teeth out.

Hurley: Wanna go Fishing *embarresed*

Sawyer: Whats all the rucus freckles

Kate: On second thought, c'mon Hurley, lets go.
Sawyer: What, no hello?
Kate: Hell-no.
Hurley: *smirking* Sorry dude, first dibs...you understand.
Sawyer: *throws Hurley a glare* Yeah, well, never mind, Freckles, I'll just go skinny dipping by myself!
Kate: You do that!

Sawyer: Ugh your impossible freckles.

Kate: Well obviously your not as charming as Big ol Hurley

Hurley: I'm flattered Kate

*Kate throws Hurley an aggressive glare*
Kate: Well, we're off! *to Sawyer*
Sawyer: Have fun..doing whatever you'll be doin...
Kate: We will!
Hurley: Yeah, we will...
*Sawyer glances at Kate*
Sawyer: Stay...safe, or, whatever...
Kate: Are you WORRIED for me?
Hurley: I can take care of her-
Sawyer: Just sayin', with that freak Ethan about...might be dangerous
Hurley: I can handle it
Sawyer: Hope so...wouldn't want our island Princess to get hurt or nothin'
Kate: Like you really care...*turns to Hurley* C'mon, lets go...
*Sawyer stares off at the two as the pass through the brush*

Sawyer: Now I got to find where they are going

*goes through some Bamboo to find a dancing Charlie wearing nothing but boxers and claire laughing sheepishly(

Sawyer: Well well well.

Charlie: It's not what it looks like

Claire:*still laughing* yes it is

Charlie: You're against me aren't you

Sawyer: *averting his eyes* Before I see anything that might give me nightmares, did you happen to know where Kate and Hurley went?

Charlie: *covering himself up* That way. *points south*

Claire: Mmm, I like going south...

*Sawyer winces*

Sawyer: Alright already, I've heard enough! I'm outta here! *jogs off*

* finally arrives at the pond to them fishing and laughing merrily*

Sawyer: *out of breath* I fiinally found you to.

Hurley: Oh so that was you running through the jungle I thought it was an elephant.

Kate: Enough Hurley... You followed us ?

Sawyer: Oh c'mon freckles you know I'm irrisistable.

*tackles her into the water

Kate: *frustratedly* You jerk! It took me like two hours of scrubbing to clean these pants!
Sawyer: Ain't no reason to clean nothing round here, princess, just gon' get dirty again...
Kate: You can go round lookin dirty but I won't!
Sawyer: Never pegged you as the high maintenance type, Freckles!
Kate: You never knew me before I had no choice but to look like, well, THIS.
Hurley: I think you look nice.
Sawyer: Aw, how cute, the Stay Puft man found himself a girlfriend...
*Hurley stands up*
Hurley: Go back to that hole you crawled out from...
Sawyer: *with interrogating eyes at Hurley* Make me.

*Locke and Boone walk in*

Locke: What's happening

Sawyer:We're fishing

Boone: I see, and you're wet because

Kate: *glances at sawyer* I fell in

Hurley: I caught a gruper.

Sawyer: Would you like a medal

Locke: Its good you guys are fishing, the boar has been low...
Kate: *giving an inquiring eye at Locke* Still?
Locke: *throws the look back at her* Its hard to find boar when they've moved their group. They got smart, but we'll catch up with them soon enough.
Boone: And besides, theres plenty of fish...
Hurley: Yay.
Sawyer: This is all VERY interesting but excuse me, while I don't care...*walks off*
Locke: So...guess we'll be heading off too...
Kate: To hunt.
Locke: Yeah. *he emphasizes* To HUNT.
*after they have left*
Hurley: Think we should have warned them about Charlie and Claire?
Kate: Nah. Too much fun. *she winks at Hurley*

*meanwhile at the Charlie/Claire love house

Charlie: ooooo I'm feeling naughty *does drunken dance, and falls next to Claire*

Claire: Chahlie put you're pants on

Charlie: Claire no likes Charlies legs, Charlie angry. You won't like me when I'm angry

Claire: Just do it you...

Charlie: Sexy Beast, Hott bunn, Naughty biy.

*Claire cracks up*

Claire: *realizes* Oh no, Chahlie, Chahlie!
Charlie: Yes, yes?
Claire: No, I mean, Chahlie, my son!
Charlie: Can't you call him Charlie #2 and me Charlie #1?
Claire: I have to go *rushes her clothes back on*
Charlie: Will you come to me on the beach later?
Claire: I will try.
*They kiss one last time and she departs*
Charlie: Stay safe, luv...

* proud of himself*

Charlie: That my friend was a good time indeed.

*Locke and Boone walk in*

Charlie: I thought u were hunting

Locke: We decided not to go.

*Boone shakes his head*

Charlie: Right and why not ?

Boone: *frustrated* Its complicated!
Charlie: I've seen Locke bag tons of boar before, its not all that hard...
Locke: The boar are regrouping somewhere else, we don't know where...
Charlie: *unsure he believes him* Um, okay, then...
Boone: Put your pants on.
Charlie: Funny, that seems to be the sentence of the day!
Locke: C'mon, Boone, lets go.
Charlie: Bye! *slides pants on* Strange...
*goes off towards the caves, struggling to make sense of what Locke told him*

*Kate and Hurley also walk in on Charlie*

Kate: You finally decided to put pant's on.

Charlie: I know isn't it a shame.

Kate: Oh I'm in tears. (laughs)

Charlie: How was fishing?

Hurley: (poud) I caught a gruper.

Charlie: Great. I'm starting to get suspicious of Locke and Boone.

Kate: My thoughts exactly

Charlie: He was telling me he was having a hard time finding the boar...but I've seen him out there...the guy has like a sixth sense for finding boar. Somethings up.
Kate: I agree.
Hurley: So what should we do?
Charlie: They went that direction. Do you suppose we should follow them?
Kate: Can't risk it. Locke is very attentive. We wait for Boone.
Charlie: Follow him, then?
Kate: Boone obviously knows whats going on too. We follow Boone, we find our answers.
Charlie: Right. Well, since we're not adventuring off right away, I am heading for shore...Claire and I have a-
Hurley: Say no more. Please.
*Charlie smirks and waves them goodbye*
Kate: We wait til tonight. After dinner.
Hurley: Boone's been missing these last past nights after dinner.
Kate: Perfect time.
Hurley: Good cover.
Kate: Are you sure you want to come?
Hurley: Babe, I've never been more sure in my life.

Kate: Hurley please
Hurley: Sorry. It won't happen again.
Kate: Good *laughs appreciativly*
Hurley: Should we bring anyone else ? Like Maybe Sayid.
Kate: I don't know. Shannon's always with him, I think she might squeal to Boone that we're following him.
Hurley:Good call. hmmmm Sawy...
Kate:Don't even say that name.
Hurley:Right

*Meanwhile, on his way to the beach*
Micheal: Charlie, hey, where are you off to?
Charlie: The beach, my fine friend. Whats up?
*Micheal calls Walt*
Micheal: Could you take him? He's been buggin me all morning to take him...
Charlie: You mean, like kiddy sit him?
Walt: I'm not a kid and I don't need a babysitter.
Charlie: I'm uh not really the person-
Micheal: Look, all I need is for you to take him there and bring him back. From point A to point B. What he does when you get there doesn't matter.
Charlie: Well...
Walt: Please? I promise I won't get into trouble.
Charlie: Is that a promise, promise? Or just a plead to get Uncle Charlie to take you anyways.
Micheal: I'd really appreciate it.
Charlie: I guess. As long as I don't have to change no diapers. *he jokes, smirking at Walt*
*Walt chuckles*

* Walks with Walt to the beach*

Charlie: What's up my main man
Walt: Nothing. I'm just depressed I can't find Vincent.
Charlie: You're dog ?
Walt: Yes, he ran away.
Charlie: Sorry

*Makes it to the beach, but doesn't find Claire*

Charlie:Did you see claire Walt
Walt:She's with Jack
Charlie: SHe's safe at least

*Jack then comes out alone with a bloody nose*

Jack: I've seen alot but that is bad

*Chuck and Walt walk in to find Scott sitting on Rose's lap making out.*

Charlie: Close your eyes Walt!
Claire: Charlie!
Charlie: You're ok!
Claire: Just a cramp.
Walt: This stinks.

Charlie: Blighter! What 'appened to you!?
Jack: Uh...
*Claire stomps out from the jungle and hands the baby to Charlie*
Claire: I am never going to let him doctor Chahlie anymore!
Charlie: *scoffs/laughs* Uh, dahling, he's the only docta on the island...I don't think you have that liberty...
Claire: I don't care! He's awful!
Walt: Gee, what'd ya do?
Jack: I told her he...had...abnormally large testicles for an infant his age...
Claire: See! Pervert!
Jack: Claire, I'm a doctor, I'm supposed to make observations!
Charlie: Right on, so he's got big bongos...who cares?
Claire: I care!
*Charlie tries to hold back a laugh*
Charlie: Luv, come and lets walk...
*the baby giggles in his arms*
Claire: *begins to cry* I am soo emotional...I don't know whats wrong with me!
Charlie: Your a mother, Claire...your supposed to get emotional about this stuff...but you DON'T go hitting people for telling you your sons got huge...
Claire: I get the point, Chahlie...
Charlie: Here, lets sit...rest on me, why don'tcha...
Claire: *as the baby coos* He likes you.
Charlie: I like him...and I love you.
*Claire kisses him tenderly*

Walt: That' s nasty
Claire: Someone agrees with me
Walt: Not that. He's all slimy.
*Sawyer walk in*
Sawyer: This day keeps getting weirder!

*Exits*

*The sun is setting and Kate is standing by the shore*
Jack: Your destined to go cross eyed if you keep staring at that horizon..
Kate: Hey.
Jack: Hey.
Kate: I can't stop thinking about something. Have to look at something while I'm thinking, might as well be something pretty...*she looks at Jack then blushes* the sunset...its pretty.
Jack: I know. It is very beautiful...*he says, looking at her*
Kate: *changes the subject* Locke passed Hurley and I in the jungle today.
Jack: *face turns serious* Oh yeah?
Kate: He says he can't find the boar...
Jack: And your opting to disagree, is that it?
Kate: Thing that bugs me the most is I swear I heard boar while I was sleeping last night...in the brush outside the beach camp...
Jack: Could have been-
Kate: No. It wasn't that loud. It was definatly boar.
Jack: So if the boar are still around and not on the move as Locke says then what?
Kate: *looks him straight in the eye* Then we've gotta find out why.
*Jack nods*

Kate: I think I can tell you.
Jack: Tell me what.
Kate when we were in the jungle told Charlie he was going out to hunt; he came back a couple minutes later he said they changed their mind.
Jack: I see
Kate: Hurley and I are going to follow Boone, after Dinner.
Jack:Ok

*Kate awaits Jack to tell her no and when he doesn't she looks at him funny*
Kate: What, no, 'I don't think thats a good idea' or even a 'Your not going without me'?
Jack: Your a big girl. You know what your doing.
Kate: Yeah...your right...
*Jack says nothing*
Kate: Okay...somethings up here. What are you not telling me?
Jack: Nothing. I'm just trying to give you some space, thats all.
Kate: *gets near him* But- I like being crowded.
Jack: You certainly never gave me that impression before.
Kate: I'm used to it now, I need it. Jack-
*Charlie comes out onto the beach with Claire, the two of them laughing*
Jack: Kate...
*Kate looks into Jacks eyes and frowns*
Kate: G'bye Jack...

*Charlie/Clair/Charlie affair*

Claire:He has my eyes.
Charlie:Those r mine.
Claire:He has my nose.
Charlie:Those are mine too.
Claire:Well, he has my smile.
Charlie:That he does.

*kiss and walk away*

Charlie: Look at those stars...they're SO beautiful...
Claire: Yeah, they are...
Charlie: Wish I'd brought me guitar out here...could sing you and the babe alittle something...
Claire: You'd spend the entire time playing with your guitar and not enough time with me!
*she rubs herself against him and smiles*
Charlie: Why did we bring the kid again?
Claire: He needs me.
Charlie: He's nibblin on your tit...its makin me jealous...
Claire: Charlie, your nasty...
Charlie: I know! I know...I can't help it...
*they giggle*
Claire: So how do you like me naming him Chahlie?
Charlie: Besides the fact it gets a tad confusing when we're in the vicinity of each other...I love it.
*he snogs her*
Claire: Your squishin' him!
Charlie: Sorry, sorry...*tries to avoid squishing him again whilst kissing her*
Claire: This night is going to be wonderful...I can tell already...

Boone looks at the empty plate that just previously had been filled, as he stands up he looks both ways making sure there's no one nearby, he then walks off into the jungle. A few seconds later Kate creeps out from behind the bushes.
Kate: Ok Hurley, let's g... Hurly! Hurley stands up really fast, mumbling he had fallen asleep. Kate: (Continued) Let's go. The two of them slink off.

*Boone comes to the hatch, and tries to open it to no avail*

Kate:*whispering* What do you think is in their.
Hurley: I have no idea, but it doesn't look like Boone knows either.
Kate: Do you think Locke know's ?
Hurley: I wouldn't doubt.
Kate: Me neither.
Hurley: Now we know why we're not getting any boar.
Kate: Well whatever's in their it must be important for them to go sneaking off everyday.
Hurley: I agree.
Kate: We have to tell Jack about this.
Hurley:Yes, but I think we can get Boone to crack, and tell us what's in ther.
Kate: How do you figure ?
Hurley: You'll see.

*Back on the beach*
Shannon: Hey...
Sayid: *looks up from the drawings as he sits by the campfire* Hello.
Shannon: Your such a student. When I was in school, they used to have this thing called recess, you should take one sometime. I hear they're fun.
Sayid: I cannot rest until I understand this map...and find the Rock.
Shannon: The rock?
Sayid: It is what Danielle, the french woman, told me about. She said her troop went there but she did not tell me where it is.
Shannon: *sits down beside him* Sometimes taking a step away can help clear your perspective.
Sayid: *looks at her, knowing she is right* What would you like to do?
Shannon: I don't know. Just take a walk with me. We'll take it from there.
Sayid: *grins* Alright then...you lead the way...

*Meanwhile, back at the hatch*
Boone: *whispering* Someone followed me.
Locke: *deadpans* Are you sure?
Boone: Yes. *he pretends to bend over and collect kindling* But I don't know who.
Locke: Then how do you know it was a person?
Boone: I heard voices.
Locke: *recalls that Sayid said he heard voices* Stay here. I'm gonna go look.
Boone: *worried* Locke?
Locke: Stay. Here. I'll be back.

*Kate and Hurley return to the beach and find Jack*

Jack: You're back.
Kate: We followed Boone and...
Jack: And what ?
Kate: They're not hunting.
Jack: I thought so. What did you find.
Kate: A hatch, but he couldn't open it.
Jack: Couldn't or Didn't ?
*Thinks about what he said*
Hurley: Dude you don't think he knew we followed him, do ya.
Kate: I don't know.

Jack: So, what, you guys saw them with a hatch?
Kate: Yeah, as in underground hatch.
Jack: Like a fallout shelter?
Kate: Jack, how am I supposed to know? I was like 10 ft away!
Hurley: Look, we went out there and found out what we went to find. They're not hunting.
Jack: Yeah.
Hurley: So the next step is to figure out if we want to confront them.
Kate: Confront Locke?
Hurley: I could do it.
Jack: Hurley, no offense but-
Hurley: Jack, no offense, but everytime you confront someone, you knock their lights out.
Kate: Hurley's right. He should go.
Jack: I don't know...but...okay.
Hurley: I'll go tommorow. In the morning.
Kate: Alright...well, I'm gonna turn in. *looking at Jack*
Jack: G'nite, Kate.
Kate: *staring disapointedly at him* Good night.
*Kate stalks away*
Hurley: Dude, whats going on with you and Kate?
Jack: I have no idea...

Hurley: Ok, I'm kind of having second thoughts about confronting Locke.
Kate: Why ? You're a big guy you can do the job.
Hurley: I guess you're right, but I don't know what to say. Cuz like I don't wanna go up to Locke saying "Dude we spied on Boone, and we know you're not hunting." And the he throws a knife at my face.
Kate:*laughing* As far as I know Locke, I don't think that he'll throw a knife at you're face, for being suspicious.
Hurley: Yeah I know.
Kate: Tell him you and I were suspicous of them sneaking off, and coming back with no boaar.
Hurley: That's it ?
Kate: Tell him that we followed Boone, and saw the hatch.
Hurley: and......
Kate: Ask him what's inside.
Hurley: When should I go ?
Kate: This one's you're call. (This is fun :))

*CAVES CLAIRE/CHARLIE*
Claire: (sits down by Charlie who is thinking by a rock.) How ya been?
Charlie: very, very good, and i can feel better (puts arm around claire.)
Claire: Don't! (eyes flashing. Charlie just relizes she isnt in a good mood)
Charlie: Whats wrong, babe?
Claire: I was going down to take a walk with Charlie, I met syaid, we made some small talk then he asked me about my dream, yeah my dream, i didnt tell anyone. not even you actually, so somwhow he knew. Then it slipped out of him.The whole you reading my diary thing, credit to him he didnt want to, but you, you read my diary.
Charlie: Claire, Claire i'm sorry i didn't mean to hurt you
Calire: So you'd just read my diary and not tell me?Why Charlie, why did u read it when i was gone?
Charlie: Claire just let me-
Claire: Did u give up that fast, really think i was dead.
Charlie: Claire, honey, you dont know how much i wanted to avoid it, belive me i never thought you were dead....just to see what was on your mind,
Claire: oh, so when people dont tell you things you pry through their stuff?
Charlie: Please dont leave mad claire i can explain things.
Claore: Bloody scum, go away fro a while Charlie just go away.

*Locke is pushing branches from his sight as he courses the jungle, scavaging for the person who followed them**He hears something to his right**He turns*
Locke: Stop right there! *he raises his knife*I know your there! Now, come out!
*Silence from the other end makes his sweat turn cold*
Locke: *too afraid to call out for help from Boone* I'm armed.
Female voice: Drop your weapon. Put it on the ground and step away.
Locke: I won't harm you. Just let me see where you are.
Female: And you want me to believe you won't harm me...men...
Locke: *curious* Your not one of the passengers...your the French woman...
Female: *suddenly beside him* You know much - *knocks him out* for a dead guy.

*Just as Danielle hits Locke over the head, Boone passes by beside them. Seeing his mentor attacked, Boone LEAPS from the bushed and TACKLES Danielle to the ground.*
Danielle: What - who are you?
Boone: Who am I? Who the hell are you?
*They fight and Boone manages to trap Danielle beneath him, pinning her hands above her head. She struggled in vain, then lays still, glaring up into Boone's face.*
Boone: You weren't on the plane. Who are you?
Danielle: I will tell you nothing.
Boone: Are you the French woman? The one Sayid was talking about?
Danielle: I will tell you nothing.
Boone: Fine, you won't talk to me. I'm sure there's someone back at the caves you'll talk to. I've heard some of those guys can be very persuasive.
*FEAR flickers on Danielle's face as Boone ties her hands and feet and raises her on to his shoulder, carrying her back to the caves.*

*Sayid walks by Charlie, and sees Claire walking away in tears*
Sayid: What's wrong with Claire ?
Charlie: What's wrong ? You told Claire I read her diary.
Sayid: You did.
Charlie: I could've told her myself.
Sayid: Well anyway, I was just wonderin.....
*Boone walks in with Danielle on his shoulders*
Sayid: Danielle ?!
Boone: So her names Danielle huh. *places her down*
Danielle: Sayid this boy has attacked me.
Boone: Boy !! *shocked at remark*
Sayid: Hold on Boone, where's Locke ?
Boone: She knocked him out. I'll go get him. *exits angrily*
Sayid: Danielle what were you doing out there.
Danielle: Looking for you.
Charlie: This is getting interesting. *smirks*
Danielle: Who's that ?
Sayid: That's Charlie. Danielle, why were you looking for me ?
Danielle: You need answers, and I found something.
Charlie: What the bloody hell is that ?

Danielle: Come closer and see

Boone tramps angrily through the jungle.
Boone: Call me a boy! I'll show you who's a boy! Or I mean, man... or... *grabs head in frustrated confusion* WHATEVER!

He stumbles upon Locke laying awake next to the hatch. Locke stares with a strange intensity at his feet, wiggles one, then sighs with relief.
Locke: Whew! Alright!
Boone: Daddy... I mean Locke! You're awake!
Locke: It appears so.
Boone: I tied up that french lady and took her back to the camp. Her name's Danielle. I think she's evil.
Locke: You tied her up?
Boone: She called me a BOY!
Locke: She hit me over the head, Boone.
Boone: Yeah c'mon let's get back there, I think Sayid is gonna torture her.
Locke: Good the distraction has been taken care of, let's get back to staring at the hatch.
Boone looks horrified.
Boone: But that's so BORING! I wanna see that evil french lady get tortured for what she did to me... *Locke looks at him sharply* I mean to you! Plus Sayid's gonna torture her. What if Shannon's there? I mean, uh, I don't want to miss it!
Locke: All good things come to those who wait Boone. To those who wait.
Locke grins eerily and Boone sulks as he sits down next to the hatch to continue the stare-a-thon
Boone *mumbling to himself*: She called me a boy.

*Boone is now asleep, while Locke continues to stare*

Locke:*muttering* good things come to people who wait. *keeps repeating the phrase*
*Boone wakes up*
Boone: Why are we still here ?
Locke: Good things come to people who wait.
Boone:Yeah, you already said that, yet we've been waiting for like 3 days, and nothing happened
Locke: We must be patient Boone.
Boone: Ok, whatever.
*we see that the hatch handle is turning slowly, Locke is shocked, and stands up*
Locke:*pulling out knife* Who are you ? *whispering to Boone* This might be Ethan.
Boone:*also pulls out knife* show yourself.
Male voice: I won't hurt you.

Boone: *confused* Who-who are you?
Man: Well, who are you? No ones been on this island for years!
Locke: What about the Fren-
Man: Get out of here! Go!
Locke: Get out of here? Why? Who ARE you?!
Man: I am trying to save you now, get out of here, its for your own good!
Boone: *gathers his courage enough to ask one last question* Not until you tell us who the heck you are.
Man: No ones asked me my name in many years...
*Boone to Locke: Think he still knows it?**chuckles**Locke elbows him*
Locke: Just tell us...how did you find that hatch? Whats in it? And are you from a previous crash?
Man: Crash? This word, you use...I am not, how you say, knowing of it
Boone: C-R-A-S-H
Locke: *to Boone* Spelling it isn't gonna help him, Boone *to the man* Were you trapped here?
Man: Trapped? Oh no. I was born here.
Locke: You were BORN here?
Boone: The Frenh woman, do you know her?
Man: I am done talking to you now. *begins to retreat*
Locke: *hold the hatch open* Just tell us who you are!
Man: I am...Alexander Rosseau...that is all you must know.

*Walt is Sitting by The Beach staring out at the ocean. and drawing in the sand*
Walt: Hey (Ethan is behind him but he's all "special" so he saw him out of that special side vision thing.
Ethan: Hello
Walt: *furrows brow* I've seen you before.
Ethan: Ethan, Ethan Rom, are you Michael's son?
Walt: You know my dad?
Ethan: Talked to him some...what you doin out here?
Walt: *shrugs* Just sitting here, i was looking for my dog, but i think he's by the caves.
Ethan: Who lives by the caves?
Walt: Jack the doctor, charlie's there w/ claire the pregnentgirl and-
Ethan: Claire? The one with blonde hair?
Walt: Yeah, but someone kidnapped her...hey, you know what was yoour name again?
Ethan: Look at the left side of the paragraph, why?
Walt: Ethan, i i gbetter go
Ethan* Blocks his way* Why so soon?
Walt: My dad told me to stay away from you, justi gotta go,
Ethan *Grabs him* No, he must've ment some other guy, um Lance, horrible man really.
Walt: I have a meeting, i just want to leve *Ethan doesnt let go* DAAAAAD DAAAD HELP HELP!
Ethan: *Clamps hand over mouth* Don't try to escape it will only make it work. Take me to the Iraqi, Sam or whatever
walt: No DAD DAAAD MR.LOCKE! SOMEBODY HELP ME
Ethan; Im not trying to hurt you, i just want to see Syaid for abit.....if you ill find your dog

*Nivity-could you clarify what just happened in your post there? I'm confused...*

*me Walt is in the caves with Charlie because he's being babysat. Did you read the posts before* any who
~-~-~Back with Locke and Boone-~-~-~
Boone: Maybe we should've asked what's in that hatch.
Locke: You see Boone, I would've, but he closed the hatch.
Boone: He sounded French, and Alex isn't much of a french name.
Locke: He also said he was born on the island.
Boone: I wonder who his mother is.
Locke: Do you think it could be the french woman ?
Boone: I don't know, but I'm tired.
Locke: Quit complaining, we must find sayid immediatly.

At the caves with Sayid and Danielle.
Sayid: Charlie, get Jack.
Charlie: He's with Michael at the waterfall, they are trying to build a water system.
Danielle: Who are these people ?
Sayid: Danielle, I know you maybe frightened, but these are the people that were on the plane with me.
Danielle: Will they hurt me ?
Sayid: Did I hurt you, when you stopped the torture.
Danielle: No you...what's your name.
Charlie: My name is Charlie.
Danielle: Charlie, you may go get...
Sayid: Jack.
Danielle: Yes Jack.
*Charlie leaves*
Danielle: How many survivors are there again ?
Sayid: Maybe 25; 30 at most. There is a man named Ethan, though who tried to kidnap one of our survivors with a baby.
Danielle: A baby !?
*Boone and Locke enter*
Danielle: You're alive ?
Locke: Do you know a man named Alex ?

yeah, im sorry i forgot about Charlie Babysitting Walt, my bad, well ..ook *Thinks of cover up for stupidty* oh...could it be a dream?......

no, it was all the boy who is ugly and mother dresses him funny. all his fault.

yeah, im sorry i forgot about Charlie Babysitting Walt, my bad, well ..ook *Thinks of cover up for stupidty* oh...could it be a dream?......

That dream thing could work, just next time specify something like *Walt's dream* or something like that.

good idea.......i know i was called dumbass for a reason, well no thats varda but i could be......blah!

it's Dumass.... god, and you call your self... um........ ok, ill get back to you on that..

Claire and Charlie's Happily Ever After

Jack: Push Claire!
Claire: Ahhh!!!
Charlie: I can see the head!
Jack: It's a boy! What? Wait, here comes another one! This one's a girl!
Charlie: Twins?!
Claire: Oh thank god!
(Jack hands a baby to Charlie and a baby to Claire)
Charlie: What are you going to name them?
Claire: I'm going to name the boy Adain and the girl Adrienne
Charlie: Pretty names.
Claire: For pretty babies
Charlie: (brushes aside a piece of Claire's hair) I love you.
Claire: Awww...I love you too, Charlie.
(They kiss and live happily ever after)

Claire and Charlie's Happily Ever After

Jack: Push Claire!
Claire: Ahhh!!!
Charlie: I can see the head!
Jack: It's a boy! What? Wait, here comes another one! This one's a girl!
Charlie: Twins?!
Claire: Oh thank god!
(Jack hands a baby to Charlie and a baby to Claire)
Charlie: What are you going to name them?
Claire: I'm going to name the boy Adain and the girl Adrienne
Charlie: Pretty names.
Claire: For pretty babies
Charlie: (brushes aside a piece of Claire's hair) I love you.
Claire: Awww...I love you too, Charlie.
(They kiss and live happily ever after)


Hey hey hey...We already made Claire have her baby. It's ok, try to read posts before posting though. ;)

*bumps and quickly runs away from uber scary kelp monkeys* :o

Is this finally being revived!!

At the caves with Sayid and Danielle.
Sayid: Charlie, get Jack.
Charlie: He's with Michael at the waterfall, they are trying to build a water system.
Danielle: Who are these people ?
Sayid: Danielle, I know you maybe frightened, but these are the people that were on the plane with me.
Danielle: Will they hurt me ?
Sayid: Did I hurt you, when you stopped the torture.
Danielle: No you...what's your name.
Charlie: My name is Charlie.
Danielle: Charlie, you may go get...
Sayid: Jack.
Danielle: Yes Jack.
*Charlie leaves*
Danielle: How many survivors are there again ?
Sayid: Maybe 25; 30 at most. There is a man named Ethan, though who tried to kidnap one of our survivors with a baby.
Danielle: A baby !?
*Boone and Locke enter*
Danielle: You're alive ?
Locke: Do you know a man named Alex ?


Okay i needed to do that, so i could add on otherwise i wouldnt know what to put, okay here goes nothing

Charlie: Jack! Jack!! *running towards him and Michael*
Jack: what is it? What is wrong Charlie?
Charlie: *out of breathe* Sayid wants you, I think the crazy french lady is with him! Not lookin a bit herself *leans up against a rock*
Michael: French lady?
Charlie: I'll explain later, but Jack, Sayid needs you now!
Jack: Alright...*nods* alright, show me where they are, Michael you stay here and keep working on that new water system
Michael: you got it
*Kate enters*
Kate: what's going on?
Jack: no time to explain Kate *takes off with Charlie*
Kate: what's going on Michael?
Michael: something about a crazy french lady
*Kate's eyes get big as she takes off after Jack and Charlie*

*At the Caves*
Danielle: *whispers* Alex...
Locke: Yes, Alex, do you know him?
Danielle: Alex was my child, The Others took him a week after I gave birth to him, they attacked at night, I've been devastated to get him back for a long time
*Locke looks at Boone and Boone scoffs*
Boone: Your lying, you don't know a Alex, you..you attack Locke and then call me a boy?
Locke: Boone calm down..
Danielle: I do know Alex, Alex is my son, how dare you say I'm lying *she steps towards Boone*
Sayid: calm down Danielle, so Alex, where is he now?
Danielle: I don't know, The Others have him, I hear their whispers of taunts, taunting me that they have my child


I hope this sounds good you guys!

woooot it's back!

Sayid:Where are these otheres?
Danielle: They are everywhere! In the forest, out at sea, even near us now! They will attack tonight.
Boone: This lady's a nutjob, I say we give her that crazy paste that Locke gave to*Locke elbows Boone in the gut* OW!
Locke: Forrgive him Danielle, he's a very young and eager boy.
Danielle: That boy is mad, he must have caught the sickness
Boone:*whining* Stop calling me a boy!
*Jack and Charlie enter with Kate sneaking behind*

.........

Charlie: Boone is that all you ever do is whine?
Boone: Shut up Charlie!! *makes a pouty face*
Jack: Okay you two stop fighting for once
Danielle: OTHER! *lifts up her rifle and points it at Jack*
Jack: woah! *puts hands up* Danielle, it's Jack, I'm Jack *points to himself*
*Danielle slowly puts down her rifle and Boone attacks*
Locke: Boone no!!!
*Danielle turns quick enough to grab him by the throat*
Danielle: your quick, but not quick enough *pushes him back letting go of his throat and Boone falls to the ground coughing*
Kate: Jack are you okay?
Jack: Kate? what are you doing here? *notices Danielle makes a strange attempt to grab Kate* Kate! Look out!
*Kate turns around as Danielle grabs her, pulling a small wooden knife out and holding it against her neck*
Danielle: *whispers* shes dangerous........shes dangerous..........
*Jack has a quick relapse of the Marshall saying the exact same thing as he looks at Kate with mistrust and suspense*
Jack: what is she talking about Kate?
Kate: No Jack don't listen to her, shes crazy!
Danielle: shut up you!

Ooooh VERY strange turn of events dontcha think?! hahahahaa

This looks good, i'm not really a good writer, so I'm just bumping!

The guys grouped together.
Charlie (whispering): Jack, got a plan?
Jack (whispering): Yeah! Locke, distract her, then go for the knife! Boone, try and pull Kate away. And Charlie, you and me will pin her down.
Boone (whispering): Charlie, wanna switch.
Charlie (whispering): No!
Boone (whispering): So how'd Claire like your little dance? Especially the part where...
Charlie:(whispering): So I pull Kate away...
Danielle: Stop talking! Now!
Locke (looks over her shoulder): Alex?!
Danielle (turns): What?!
Locke and Charlie attack first. Charlie pulls Kate away. Locke throws Jack the wooden knife. Jack and Boone tackle Danielle to the floor.
Boone: That is for calling me a boy!
Charlie: Boone, you are going to get yourself killed one of these days. Stop taunting the wacko!
Jack (looks at Danielle): I want some answers, and you're going to us them!

Boone: *picks up a bamboo stick* Alright, Frenchy, now tell us....DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN?? *cracks up in laughter*
Locke: *sighs**hits him*
Charlie: *laughs* Oh my God! I totally know the Muffin man!
Boone: Really? *rubs head*
Charlie: He makes me special "cakes"!
Locke: No! Charlie! How many times do I have to tell you?!!? *grabs Boone's stick* NEVER tell Boone about our special cakes!!!
Boone: *pouts* How come I never get any Lockey snacks?
Locke: *whispers* Hee hee, later...
Charlie: EW! I HEARD THAT!!
*They all look up**Danielle is gone*
Jack: Aww, shoot. She got away!
Boone: And I still don't get any cake!

Jack, Lock, and Charlie(in unison): Good Job BOONE!!
Boone: Awh man guys im sorry! I wont let it happen again!
Locke:Yeah Boone, smarten up!
*kate sits and watches in awe while Hurley, Sawyer, and Walt enter from the side*
Kate: You gotta be kidding me, you're blaming Boone?
Charlie:HE distracted us, talking about the muffin man!
Hurley:Muffins Where!?
*hurley starts searching franticlly*
Walt:Yall suckas be crazy foos.
Sawyer:Fo shizzle

Charlie: Look all this talk of muffins is making me alittle hungry.
Locke: But guys, what about Danielle?
Sawyer: Partner, we all know you just want to find her so you can get funky wit some one your own age.
Boone: *looks hurt* Lockey poo, is this true?
Locke: Shoot...I need a muffin....*walks off*
Charlie: *cheering*
Kate: Why must I run with a pack of retards?
Hurley: ........muffins.........*drools*
Boone: *just comes to realization* Wait a second....if we're on an island, where are we....*smiles* Someone brought muffins on the plane?!?!?!
Charlie: *to Locke* When do you think he's gonna get that they're not really muffins?
Locke: *grins* This is far too fun now. Best not spoil the surprise...*giggle*

Boone:*stomps his feet and whines* But I want Muffins
Hurley: MUFFINS!!!!!
Kate:Wow, this is way too much
*Jin enters*
Jin: Hey suckas, the muffin man's passing out some reaaly warm, and fresh mizzuffins down at teh bizzeach!
Sawyer: Howdy Doody you speak english partner
*hurley runs over them all and off towards the beach*
Boone: I told you there were muffins
Jack: WTF mate, John you said you ate all the muffins
Locke: Looks like I forgot some

Boone grabbed the muffins and began eating
Charlie: Boone, we forgot to tell you that these are "special" muffins.
Locke: We added sliced marijuanna plant.
Boone didn't noticed as he kept giggling and bouncing like a kangaroo.
Boone: A boing! A boing!
Sawyer: You got Richie Rich high?
Boone: I see seals!
Charlie: Yep! Wait til the munchies come, then he's screwed.
Hurley: What am I going eat? I want muffins!
Boone: Hurley skinny!
Hurley: Thanks!

Claire: *walks up to Charlie* AHEM!
Charlie: *hides muffin* Uh, hi honey, uh, whats going on, uh, and stuff?
Boone: We jammin....oh Lord, we jammin....
Locke: *stuffs muffin pieces in his ear* If he's gonna start singing, I at least want protection.
Claire: If those are Locke's special muffins again, hand it over NOW.
Charlie: But sugar cakes!
Jin: You best be givin her dah muffin, fo shizzle, for she goes crizzazy on your asizzle!!
Shannon: *walks up with Sayid* Liek, omg, whats the dealio with Boone?!
Locke: *still has muffin in his ears* HUH?
Jin: *shouts* She says 'whats the dizzizle with the mofizzle?!'
Charlie: Boone and the special muffins have made friends.
Sayid: Oh Allah...save us all....

*Allah enters8
Allah: Did somebody same my name
Jin: Yeah sizzucka it was that Iraqi mizzan nizzamed Sayid biotch! Yall frontin!
Boone: I make da poop-poo go wheeeeeee!
*Locke decides to eat a muffin*
Jack: So allah, how are things
Allah: Oh you know, so fresh so clean. Just gettin my pimp on down in Iran
Jin: Fo sho?
Sawyer: What the hell is with yall people. Boone and Baldy over here are high, Mr. Miyagi is talkin like he's in the ghetto, and now Allah is here! This is too much, I'm outtie!

Allah: Whats his dealio???
Charlie: Clearly, he is suffering from a lack of muffin intake. Claire, my dear, please pass the goat milk...
Claire: But Charlie...
Charlie: C'mon! *grabs the thing milk and chugs*
Jin: Woah! I'm gones be sick up in hizzle, yo..
Claire: Thats what I was trying to tell him - thats my breastmilk!
Boone: Boobies! *laughs**passes out*
Locke: I had boobies once...*passes out next to Boone*
Charlie: OH MY GOD *runs off into the jungle to hurl*
Hurley: Hey, he's hurling and my name is Hurley and he's hurling and my name is Hurley...
Jin: *covers Hurleys mouth* Shuzizzle, foo'.
Allah: Well, everything seems to be pretty normal here, so I think I'm gonna peace out.
Sayid: Please take me with you!
Allah: My son, it is not your time...
Sayid: *eats a muffin* Darn it.

Charlie (far off): I did not eat any peperoni sticks!
Sayid: I like big butts and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny...
Jack: Jesus, this is twisted!
(Jesus enters)
Jesus: Whazzup!
Claire: Allah AND Jesus! In the same few minutes?
Sayid: Don't want none, unless you've got buns hon!
Jesus: Hey! He's a non-Christian! I'm outta here! Hey! Are those muffins?
Sayid: Baby Got Back!
Hurley: You no get any! There mine! All mine! There my, my... precious!
Charlie (comes in): My Precious? Sounds a little familar...
Jack: This is too weird for me! Anyone who's not high, head back to camp.
(Jin, Jack, Claire, Charlie leave.)
(Boone, Locke, Hurley, Sayid, Jesus stay)
Jesus: Judas, get away from me! No muffins for you!
Judas: Damn it!

Allah: Oh great, Judas is here...PARTY OVER!
Jesus: Thanks alot JUDAS!
Judas: but but but
Boone: I love big butts!
*jin randomly enters*
Jin: Yo momma's got a big butt sucka
All: Ohhhhhhhhhhh!
*jin leaves*
Sayid: That was crazy man
Allah: Yeah well, we better get going before Judas betrays us all
Sayid ,Locke, and boone: Byyyyyyyyyyye!!!!
*Jesus and Allah leave*
Judas: I feel hated.....could ya pass the muffins?
::commercial::

:Commercials end:
Charlie*doing pleptobysmal dance*: Upset stomach, diarea... *notices cameras* Hey! Nobody told me the commercials were over!
Jack: I know! I was going to, but it seemed funnier not to!
Charlie *looks at camera and points to Jack*: He sleeps with a teddy bear!
Jack: Hey! He's a giraffe!
Charlie: Don't make me tell them what his name is.
Jack: Hey! Jack Jr. is an excellent name for a stuffed animal!
Micheal comes in
Micheal: Are you guys talking about Jack's teddy?
Jack: He's a giraffe!

*Jin enters*
Jin: Man don't be frontin you know it's a tizeddy bear
Jack: Wittle Jackie-kins is not a bear! He's my fuzzy wuzzy giraffe and has a cute wittle tail.
*whole cast enters and stars strangely at Jack as he cuddles with his bear giraffe*
All: Ummm Jack, the cameras are still rolling
Jack:I-I-I know that! I was umm just rehearsing a new scene out of my hit musical uhhh..." Girizzafe not Bizear". Ah ha now you see I was only acting.
Jin: Cap'n wacka cracka is smokin some crazy rocks

Jack*points to Jin*: Hey! You've been taking English lessons from a rapster!
Sun: But Jack, you take ballet lessons.
Jack: Shaddup.
Sayid: And what about your dolls back in your tent?
Jack: They are action figures.
Sayid: Who can't move and wear polka-dot dresses?
Jack: Writers! Kill me off quick! Before they mention my Barney underwear to the public!
Barney enters
Barney: You have my underwear brand?
Jin*throws stuff at Barney*: Git outta here foo!
Barney: Don't make me go Kamekazee on you Japan man!
Sun: He's Korean!
Barney: I don't f***en care! *sees cameras* Are those cameras?
All: Get the hell out of our show!