Hey,

just signed in...and very excited!
I love LOST - think it's the best show ever!
and im shocked to see Israeli's on this forum...I was sure i'd be the only one, lol. anyway every time i log in to a new forum i start off with a joke - so hope you enjoy this one...has nothing to do with Lost but its funny just the same

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS_*_
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy




OFFICE ARITHMETIC_*
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH_*
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.



GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS_*
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS_*
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.



*_
LONGEVITY_*
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.



*_
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE_*
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE_*
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



*_
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED_*
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.