I mentioned in another post about how I used to do a bit on Star 100.7 in San Diego known as the "Queer Tip of the Day from the Gay", and by popular (by which I mean Speaker) demand, I can do something fun on here too.* If you want to hear examples of the show, save these links to your desktop to play them:

http://www.jeffofhearts.com/music/030504_Ask_the_Gay.mp3
http://www.jeffofhearts.com/music/030804_Know_your_Limits.mp3

So the first question comes from Speaker, he asks, "With no combs on the island, how do you suggest stying one's hair?"

I'm not a huge fan of combs even off the island... God gave us fingers and I say use them!* Fingerstyling provides more textured and natural looks.* More importantly is to maintain some basic rules of haircare while on the island.* First thing I would do is track down Sun... our resident herbalist.* If she can find some soaproot on the island, then you're really in business.* By boiling the soaproot and straining the liquid, you can make your own shampoo.* Add a little bit of tropical fruit juice, or coconut for a pleasant aroma.* Hair does not need to be shampooed everyday, in this environment I'd try every three-four days.* However, I would rinse out my hair everyday using the freshwater... the saltwater will do a doozy on your hair.* Just make sure you dry your hair thoroughly if you have longer hair (using your fingers)... it's the best way to avoid matting or knotting.

To style your hair, fruit juices can have a hairspray effect, but I'd avoid that route unless you want to attract insects.* I say let it go natural, and use your fingers to comb it out.* For longer hair, tuck behind your ears or use an extra shoelace to tie it back.

If you have a question, pm me and I'll post the answer here!

Thanks,
jeff

OMG!

TEH GAY KNOWS ALL!

*Bows to Teh Gay!*

OMG!!! jeff I listened to the first clip above and read your reply to speaker...

You ROCK!!!

*joins speaker in bowing to Teh Gay!*

ala Wayne & Garth...

"we're not worthy! we're not worthy!"


kaidy :laugh:

This is the best!!! I love the Gay!!!! :-*

It's Queer Eye for the Lost Guy!!!

Yeah!

Stephanie

no no no Strack-

"TEH" Gay..not THE Gay....get it right ;) j/k

Sorry! Teh Gay.. I have issues with abbreviations and misspellings...I wish everything had spell check...I am so anal.... ;)

Typing incorrect word....making..me...weak...
Must...get...dictionary....

KAHN!!!


Stephanie

Wow,

I think if we keep up the Teh Gay fanieness, it's going to need it's own thread!!! :D

Strack- I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you. And i wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her. Buried alive. Buried alive.

Speaker-
Not to get too chatty in Teh gay's thread here, but are you a fan of every cult show ever made?* ;)


Stephanie

Modified because I accidentally spelled correctly - see previous post...we have to keep speaker happy, or he turns into the Incredible Hulk (It's really quite scary)

He only uses "The" to be humble..we honor him with the fangirly "Teh"

And the answer to your question is: yes.

Y'all make me feel so loved.

But God as my witness, I will never spell it "teh". It goes against the very fiber of my being.

jeff

No no...you must not spell it TEH...for it is OUR (you're loyal minions) honor!

Hi Jeff --

I have a question!

Is that your picture in your avie? If so, I notice that you have very cute dimples ... or at least dimple. So, from your point of view, is it better to have cute dimples like Sawyer, or a very very nice smile, like my man Jack?

And keep it clean ... this is a family board.

And by the way, Speaker meant to say "your loyal minions' honor"

actually i wasn't implying the possesive in "minions" because our covered that :)

MommaSays, yes that's me (sometime around Kindergarten or First Grade). *I do have two fairly distinct dimples. *You can see a more recent pic of me showing off the dimples here (although I'll be honest and say the pic is a year or two old):

http://www.jeffofhearts.com/gallery/smilin.html

Personally, I can go either way on the dimples. *It's how they contribute to the face as a whole that's important. *As for Sawyer and Jack, neither one of them is my type (met Matt in person once, nice guy but no real attraction). *I'm all about Boone :-).

jeff

You are so attractive! I love the first grade dimples and the current dimples ... very cute pictures.

Speaker: you are talking about minions' honor. But, hey, love the hat! Does the hand signal actually mean anything?

I don't know if it means anything or not...i was just doing random gestures...how much you wanna bet it means "steal my car" or something?

I think the hand sign means "I'm going to steal your car and strip it for parts." LOL!

Can I be one of Jeff's minions too?


(no offense meant, but does this make us all faghags? LOL)

(no offense meant, but does this make us all faghags? LOL)

Hey!! That IS offensive.

I think Speaker's hand signal means that he wants to play table hockey, and he'll be the goalie.

I want to be a minion of Jeff haha.

Jeff, please come to NY and do some radio there, I would love it greatly! *:P


I posted this one on the linear board but I doubt you will ever see it for its buried beyond many other posts: *The Last Five Years is a great cd! I saw the show a few years ago, it was great, do you like "Parade" seeing as it is another Jason Robert Brown masterpiece?


And I'm already someone elses "faghag" as my gay best friend says haha.

If I'm married can I still be his *** hag?...I love him already. We could be like Will and Grace, or Jack and Jen...

Jeff- I think you're stuck with all of us...

Stephanie

Hey, and I'm a Lesboy!

Will and Grace, Jack and Jenn, Jack and Karen...not a bad group to be in!

Hey..can a straight married male be a *** hag?

Speaker: No, he can't. Look it up ... it's in the manual.

Jeff: Now back to you ... one more question ... when Michael builds those showers, shoudn't they come up with some suggestions for group shower etiquette? I mean, this is a national network show, after all.

I've got a question for teh Gay (please note my spelling of 'the'):

Jeff,
Safe sex is very important -- Since Sawyer probably already stashed all of the condoms on board, what do you suggest Kate and Jack use for protection when they finally... get it on?

;)

-- Marcee

MAMMA-

Then what can I call myself!?

*** Hags are women who enjoy the company of gay men and love them...

So Speaker unless you aren't telling us something *:-X...I'd say no...but you can still be a minion *:P

I've never been a fan of the term "faghag"... the originations of the word *** have always left too bitter a taste in my mouth. *Brief history lesson for everyone...

*** is an abbreviation of "Faggot" which is a bundle of sticks used for kindling. *Hence how *** means cigarette in England. *Anyways, back in the olden days, when a witch was burned at the stake... they would surround the bottom of the stake with faggots, and homosexuals. *And the homosexuals were burned to death along with the witch. *Homosexuals, you see, were deemed unworthy of their own stake.

As a general rule, I don't take offense to "Faghag" mainly because when people use that term they actually do mean it as a sign of affection. * Context and meaning play a big role in any communication.

However, I've always preferred the term "Fruitfly" *:-)

And for the record... I have a Queen Fruitfly, and she would not hesitate to beat you all to death if you ever try to usurp her crown.

jeff

ps- BurningStar4, Jason Robert Brown ROCKS! *Have you ever heard "Songs for a New World"?

I too am uncomfortable with the terms history...but FH was used a lot by people i knew who were gay so I didn't think of it.......fruitfly sounds much more cheerful!

WOW Jeff thanks for the history lesson, very disturbing thoughts!

Never heard of the term Fruitfly, but very interesting haha.

Of course I have heard of "Songs for a New World" beautiful music! *--- I am a huge fan of Jason Robert Brown, he is SO amazing!!!

oops. my bad. didn't mean to offend, sorry....so hrm...we can't be your fruitflys...cause i REALLY dont wanna get my *** kicked..lol...need to find a new term...brain not working properly...

I must find out more about this Jason Robert Brown of which you speak...I'm a huge musical fan...Rent, Les Mis, Evita, and Cats being my favorites...

No offense taken. And you'll love JRB. His songs are very easy to relate to, with strong melodies, and complex characters... one of my favorite sections of his work (or from any musical) is from "See I'm Smiling" in "The Last Five Years". Kathy just starts to vent, and she builds and builds throughout this section until she just collapses emotionally for the final statement. Anyone who has ever felt underappreciated or ignored in a relationship can identify...

"You know what makes me crazy? (I'm sorry, can I say this) You know what makes me nuts?
The fact that we can be together, here together, sharing our night, spending our time
And you are going to choose someone else to be with, no, you are... yes Jamie, that's exactly what you're doing
You could be here with me, or be there with them, and as usual guess which you pick?
No Jamie, you do not have to go to another party with the same twenty jerks you already know.
You could stay with your wife on her f-----g birthday, and you could, god forbid, even see my show!
And I know, in your soul, it must drive you crazy that you won't get to play with your little girlfriends,
No I'm not, no I'm not! And the point is Jamie that you can't spend a single day that's not about you
And you, and nothing but you! Marvelous Novelist, You! Isn't he wonderful, just 28! The saviour of writing! You!
And you, and nothing but you! Miles and piles of You! Pushing through windows and bursting through walls on route to the sky!
And I...

I swear to god I'll never understand how you can stand there straight and tall and see I'm crying...
And not do anything at all."

jeff

OMG OK where can I get a copy of this?? That just described my marriage, (former) in like, a few verses. Wow. WHERE can I get a copy of this?!?!

*gets a little obsessive hee*

Here...

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000065CXP/ref=m_art_li_1/002-8965095-0714465?v=glance&s=music

You can also listen to snippets of the songs.

jeff :-)

Hey Jeff

Minion (fruitfly) #2 (yes I numbered myself) here and well, sorry I didn't catch the whole faghag thing, I was away for the computer for a bit, or else I would have vented my annoyance with the word. Not a bad phrase in ignorance, but I was given that particualr history lesson a while back, and I now cringe at the word. History sucks!!!

Anywho, love the advice, love the radio clips, you rock.

surr rambles on.

Jeff-
Appreciate the history lesson. Sometimes when a group turns their derogitory terms back on the users, it can be a sense of impowerment for them, that's why we all think it's okay, but discovering how horrifying the original context of it is, not even empowerment should cause anyone to use that term, and I know I never will again. So, thank you....

Anywho,
I would have to say that the ladies of the island will probably have an endless supply of mustache wax and hair dye, not to mention tampons (sorry, guys)
Are their any natural deoderants out there, or are they all going to stink once that runs out?

Stephanie

Jeff -
In Speaker's newest Avatar he is wearing a reb, white, and black toque(or as most amaricans say tabogan, or beanie) we were having a discussion on another thread as to whether Speaker and Myself have good fashion sense seeing as how we both own the toque in question and someone thought we should ask teh gay. So here I am asking.

except all the Avie's have been burned in the Fuselage....aparrently.

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How will we ever know if we have good taste. Why oh Why!!!

jeff, not one of your minions, but i did have a question... ;)

i was on another board reading comments about Ian.* from what i read it seemed that
the poster on the other board was gay and was having issue/s with Ian's interviews
about his recent roles.* in both he played either a gay man or a man of ambigious sexuality.
i didnt see the roles, nor did i read/hear ALL of his comments about said roles.
what i did read did not give me the impression that he was homophobic.

gah! that was a long intro.* :)

anyway...i realize that Boone is pretty to look at from my perspective...
and that you find him nice to look at as well.*
what are your thoughts on Ian's comments
re: his previous roles and does that color how you perceive him or his character on LOST?
thanks.

Geez, a boy goes on a business trip for a few days, and everyone has a question!

Lots of questions, and I'll get to them in due course.* However, the one I'll address now is the one about Ian Somerhalder.* There's a lot of speculation on the internet about whether or not Ian is gay, and if he's not, then if he's homophobic.* Honestly, I don't know, cause I've never met him, so any answer I might give would be pure speculation.

I can however, tell you how the rumours started.

As for Ian being gay, there are two main reasons why that rumour started.* The first is that Ian has played gay characters, very convincingly I might add.* Any time an actor plays a role exceptionally well, a portion of the public will associate the attributes of that character to that actor.* How many of us get the chills just thinking about Anthony Hopkins because of Silence of the Lambs?* The other is that Ian "looks gay", in the most stereotypical sense.* He's very "pretty", has a petite but athletic frame, and has good fashion sense.

Does any of that make him gay?* No.* Just as the fact I'm built like a linebacker and once had a female theatre critic hit on me at an opening night party because the heterosexual character I had played that night turned her on doesn't make me a heterosexual.

And to the "Ian is homophobic" rumours... it all started with an article in an Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue.* I'm not sure of the "quote", but it discussed Ian being upset about everyone thinking he was gay.* The quote got around, people got upset, and Ian was branded a homophobe.* End of story?* Not quite...* Take a look at the source.* Abercrombie and Fitch used to market themselves directly to the gay population and in the recent years has made every attempt possible to turn themselves "straight".* Their catalogue is not a newspaper, and not one I would regard as a hotspot of journalistic integrity.* Ian, on his own website, has made this statement...

Okay, let’s talk seriously here for a second.* When and where is what I would sincerely like to know... Can someone, anyone, send me something that remotely tells me that I said I dislike people who are gay.* Please I openly invite you to.*

Let me explain how things such as this get out of hand and generally, as well as genuinely, are a great waste of time and energy; it’s all horribly incorrect and disheartening to me.

There is truth in that I’ve been misquoted (care of the individual whom wrote the A&F article) by journalists who play the part of the honest and seemingly delighted-to-interview-you writer, only to rip you apart in the piece (article) after the meeting or the phone call.* It seems that after having played the coveted roles of Hamilton Fleming (Young Americans), Russell Henderson (Anatomy of a Hate Crime) (a role that gave me the ability to fight for not only gay rights but human rights as well) and Paul Denton (Rules of Attraction) it’s still not enough for some individuals that there are many gay people in my life whom I love like my family and have played major roles in my career.* It’s not enough and at this point, well, it’s easy to find myself at a loss…

Please know this: I respect anyone and everyone’s belief to practice and love who ever you want, however you want, so long as it’s not hurting another human being or our environment.

If you are still not satisfied and you care to discuss this, please feel free to email me: iansome@aol.com.

Is Ian gay?* I don't know.* Is Ian homophobic?* I don't know.* Like I said, I don't know the guy.* But based on the evidence, I'll go as far to state that I bet you $5.00 he's one hell of a cool straight guy.

jeff

Jeff

Thank you for that wonderful reply to the Ian thing. It was wonderfully well written. You just stated everything very well and backed it up with evidence. I think I am with you on the opinion, but like you said I don't know him. Hopefully this will put the whole issue to sleep.

You Rock,

Surr

:lol2: jeje! really cool post Mr.Jeff!!!!!! hey, I liked it a lot.
We were talking about higiene last day in the ABC board, as a joke offcourse. even tough its something to be curious about. I was saying.. how the hell are they going to survive with the stink!!!!!!? i mean deodorant and soap does not last forever!!

any type of deodorants on the island Mr?!

jeff, thanks for the answer...
though i didnt really want to know if Ian was gay or homophobic...
personally it doesnt matter to me. i like his character on LOST and so far his acting skills.

i was just surprised at how that other poster/another board could misread his comments.
interpreting them with a LOT of bias/prejudiceand your answer here completely is the opposite
of one very "angry" poster. very fair and nonjudgemental.
wish more people could be that way with topics.

at any rate, thanks for taking the time to try to explain it. though i suppose it didnt really need
explaining. ;)

have we beat this dead horse enough? j/k